30 Trips around the sun. It’s really hard for me to fathom that I have been on this earth for three whole decades! I’ve heard that your 30s are better than your 20s, which would be great to consider since my twenties were filled with anxiety, stress, and a whirlwind of emotions (except for 29, which was my best year yet)! Like many of you, I’ve faced adversity, battled with uncertainty and fear of the unknown, and felt as though I was not good enough. As I enter the new chapter of my 30s, I plan to enter the decade by banishing the negative and turning to the positive. I’ve created a list, a friendly little reminder guide, to help lift my spirits if I am ever feeling down about growing older. Hopefully this list will help others as well, or maybe it already resonates with you!

30 Little Things to Remember Going Into My Thirties:

One: Continue to advocate for myself, my feelings and well-being. Trusting my gut instinctively if something feels off, and asking myself, “is this fair for me?” I tend to put myself aside in pressing situations, because I am fearful of the outcome. This is definitely a work in progress for me, as I always try to benefit others before myself; but I have a whole decade to perfect it!

Two: Letting go of friendships that no longer serve you. This is something I have struggled with immensely in my twenties. I always wanted to get along with everyone, and treat others as I would like to be treated; however, it was not always reciprocated. People change and grow apart. I came across a meme that really stuck with me, “New Year 2020 resolution is to stop wondering if I am good enough for other people, and start wondering if they’re good enough for me.” Read that again, and let it sink in! It’s healthy to let go of relationships that bring you anxiety and stress, because think about this – true friends would not make you feel anxious or stressed!

Three: Let go of guilt, and make decisions that are best for you. Making decisions brings a lot of pressure, and not everyone is going to side with you and agree. I’ve learned this even more while implementing the beginning stages of wedding planning! I feel as though I am easily persuaded by the opinions of others. This is a downfall for me, and I eventually cave-in due to feeling an overwhelming sense of guilt. But why should I feel guilty for making a decision that is best for me? If you’re an approval seeker like me, and try to avoid confrontation, this will be challenging; but it’s a cycle that we have to break before it impacts our well-being.

Four: Remission does not always mean you’re “medicine free,” and that’s OK! This is something that I am currently struggling with. I was recently told that I am in temporary remission with Crohn’s disease, which is something I should had celebrated, right? I let worry, doubt, fear and all of the negative, toxic emotions rise above the positive outcome. I was scared that my flare up would return, because I (like most people) deal with stress and anxiety on a daily basis. It was hard for me to believe that I could be in remission, but still be dependent on biologics and immunosuppressants. I need to learn to be patient with this, and be appreciative of how far I have come with this disease. I still have my bad days, but I am in such a better place now than I have been in years!

Five: Don’t settle for anything less than you deserve. This applies to relationships, careers, and any real-world challenging scenario. For relationships, think of the quote from The Perks of Being a Wallflower that says, “We accept the love we think we deserve.” We tend to stick around in relationships and careers because we’re too comfortable, and too afraid of change. But let’s face it, time flies by! There is more reward than risk when it comes to staying put in a relationship or job that is bringing you down.

Six: No matter how hard it is to get out of bed to start your day, push through it! Everyone is battling with their own demons and struggles. Some days are worse than others! No matter what you’re going through, try to push through and rise above. It may be hard in the beginning, but the outcome of pulling yourself together and concurring the day will make you feel unstoppable!

Seven: Don’t follow the trend just because everyone else is doing it. From fashion to dieting, just because other people are following a certain trend doesn’t mean it will make you feel good about yourself. If the keto diet works for a friend, be supportive, but don’t feel pressured to change your lifestyle if it doesn’t feel right for you.

Eight: Don’t fall into the trap that everyone is living a perfect life because of what is shared on Social Media. People only showcase their best moments on social media. Every model or influencer that you follow may seem that their lives are great; but you never know what is happening underneath the surface. Follow pages and people who share common interests, or something that inspires you to be the best version of yourself.

Nine: Understanding the correlation of exercise and well-being. It’s tough to fit exercise into our lives when there is little time; but it is important to realize that staying active reduces everyday stress. I was going through a really rough point in my life, and then I discovered kickboxing. I can’t express enough how it changed my life, and overall well-being. Try something new, even if it seems out of reach, and I guarantee you will be motivated to continue.

Ten: Mindfullness. Whatever mindfullness means to you, try it, practice it, and embrace it! It could be rhythmic breathing exercises, clearing your headspace, keeping a gratitude journal, listening to meditation podcasts or apps, etc. I am extremely impatient and scatterbrained, so practicing mindfullness can be very challenging. I can attest that rhythmic breathing exercises help alleviate anxiety and cramping associated with Crohn’s disease.

Eleven: Practice self care. There are many ways to go about this. Silencing your phone, saying “no” when needed, unwinding by reading a book, watching a TV show or movie, getting a facial or massage – the list goes on and on! If money is an issue, heat up a warm towel, put on a face mask, lay down and relax! Self care does not have to involve spending, but you should treat yourself every once in awhile!

Twelve: Embrace your flaws, and turn your insecurities into strengths. Everyone has flaws, it’s without a doubt! Even your most idolized celebrity has flaws, but it does not stop them from living their life. I can attest that I have many flaws, visible and beneath the surface, that bring an onset of insecurities. Worrying, stressing, and being anxious about them will not make them disappear. Learn to embrace your flaws, and turn the insecurities into positive energy.

Thirteen: Adopt a shelter pet, or volunteer at a local shelter. Having the responsibility of a pet can be time consuming, challenging at times, and expensive; but there are other options available if being a full-time pet parent is too much for you. Consider volunteering at shelters, become a foster to a dog or cat, and help save the lives of shelter pets! Your help, even if it seems small, will make such a difference for the animals.

Fourteen: Find a Cause or Organization that you feel good about, and show your support. When I was diagnosed with Crohn’s disease in 2014, I felt lost, insecure, and depressed. My doctor recommended the Crohn’s & Colitis Foundation, and my life was changed ever since. I helped co-lead a support group of amazing people, created a team Game of Crohn’s: A Cure is Coming to participate in the annual Take Steps walk, and helped with securing raffles for the event. You never know how much of a difference this will make until you become a part of it.

Fifteen: Use YouTube to learn something new. I can’t tell you how many times I have YouTube’d a “How To” question to learn something new for myself. I am a visual learner, and there are so many “How To” videos out there to inspire you to try something new!

Sixteen: Take your supplements! This may seem silly, but something as simple as taking supplements daily will help maintain health and well-being. I take supplements for anxiety because I experienced too many side effects with prescribed anxiety medication. You can pick and choose the right supplements for your body and mind – there are a ton of inexpensive options on Amazon!

Seventeen: Therapy is not taboo. There is nothing wrong with going to therapy, and it does not make you less of a person. Therapy helped me deal with traumatic and toxic situations and people, as well as how to communicate during certain situations instead of shutting down.

Eighteen: Don’t sweat the small stuff. Thank god for my fiance for helping me every day with this concept, as it is so hard for me to grasp! I am ALWAYS sweating the small stuff, no matter how hard I try not to. It’s something that I am continuously working to improve, and having support from a loved one makes it so much better.

Nineteen: Learn to cook or bake your favorite food. I’ve practiced cooking and baking (for better or worse) and it’s all about experimentation. Sometimes we fail in the kitchen, and other times we succeed. The more you practice cooking or baking your favorite food, the better and more enjoyable the experience will be!

Twenty: Be kind. No matter your age, it’s as simple as that!

Twenty-one: Angry or frustrated? Write it out. If you’re in a situation where your anger or temper arises, and you want to unleash a response that may be hurtful, pause, take a breather, and open your notes app. Don’t open a text or email – play it on the safe side and vent it out on paper or in the notes app. Then you can simply delete the note or crumble the paper after you have gathered your thoughts and are ready to respond appropriately.

Twenty-two: Plan a girls trip. It doesn’t have to be lavish and expensive. A long weekend with a group of girlfriends will be a great escape from daily life stressors.

Twenty-three: Lists, Reminders, Planners, Calendars. You don’t have to use all of them; but you should use at least one method to keep all of your notes, plans, and appointments aligned.

Twenty-four: Give yourself a break. It’s important to know when we mentally or physically need a break. Take a walk, ride a bike, do stretching exercises, drink water, etc. We can get so worked up and focused with tasks that we forget to take breaks when our body and mind need it most.

Twenty-five: Skincare routine. Say it with me, STICK TO IT! Even if you’re coming home exhausted from a long night out. Please wash your face, tone and moisturize! One of the best ways to try new products is to ask for samples at cosmetic stores, or select free sample options when ordering products online (shout out to Sephora)! Be sure to read reviews for any new product that you would like to try to see if it would work well with your skin.

Twenty-six: Create different playlists that work with your mood. Music is therapeutic, and it’s a constant within my everyday life. I have set playlists for working out, walking my dog, and relaxing. It’s nice to have options!

Twenty-seven: Be supportive, even if you don’t have the answer to a problem. Something as simple as lending an ear for someone to vent, giving words of encouragement, and being present in the moment. Support is something we all need, no matter our age.

Twenty-eight: Don’t give up on a hobby or passion because you’re “too old.” Last year, I tried an adult jazz class, since over 10 years of finishing my stretch in dancing school. It was so fun, rejuvenating, yet challenging. To my surprise, there were ladies in their 60s-70s who were absolutely crushing the choreography! If there is a hobby or passion that you have, or something new you want to try, don’t hesitate because of age.

Twenty-nine: Accepting the terms that life is not a race or competition. I often feel as though I’m not where I’m supposed to be in life for that certain age. As we get older, we’re pressed with time. We often get asked the cringe-worthy questions, such as, when are you getting married? When are you having children? Life happened much differently in previous generations, and it’s still happening differently among millennials. Just because your best friend is married with children, doesn’t mean that is where you’re supposed to be this moment in time. Everything will happen for you exactly when it should.

Thirty: AGE IS NOTHING BUT A NUMBER! Every year, like clockwork, I get depressed around the time of my birthday due to growing older. I need to accept the fact that growing older is inevitable –  no matter how much energy I waste being down and out about it. Life is too short to worry about your age! I hope to embrace this concept as each year goes by, because worrying about it will just cause gray hair and wrinkles…

Cheers to another year, and a new decade! Thank you for taking the time to read this list. I hope this inspires you to create one for yourself! 🙂