**This post serves as your friendly reminder to set healthy boundaries this holiday season!**

The holidays can bring forth a variety of heavy emotions. Some may feel a sense of love and connection, while some may feel anxious and depressed. It’s also common to feel both positive and negative emotions this time of year, such as the feeling of being happy and sad simultaneously.

When I’m spending time with family and loved ones, I feel a great sense of happiness and sadness. I tend to worry about the future, and I feel sad thinking about which family members may not be here next year, rather than be in the moment and cherish the memories being made in present time. It’s a habit that I am working hard to break, so that I can live fully in the present. Whether you’re reminiscing on family members who are growing old while worrying about the future, or if you’re grieving for those who are no longer here – this time of year can unravel a wave of emotions. Whatever the reason for however you’re feeling, just remember that you’re feelings are valid.

Being around too many people can feel overwhelming if you’re not fully in the holiday spirit. For some, the holidays can be traumatic if they are forced into a toxic environment. Or, some may want to avoid returning home during the holidays to avoid past trauma or unsettling conversations. This is why setting boundaries is extremely imperative for personal growth, and achieving overall wellbeing.

Setting boundaries for ourselves will help us deal with the onset of overwhelming emotions. How do we set boundaries? Being vocal about our feelings and standing up for ourselves to support our mental and emotional health is a good way to start. I’ve learned through experience that healthy boundaries can upset unhealthy people; however, we need to remember that setting boundaries is healthy for our mental and emotional health. And it’s time that we put our mental and emotional health to the forefront!

How can we alleviate feeling overwhelmed, anxious, and stressed during the holidays? Here are some tips to consider when setting boundaries during the holidays:

• Write it out: Boundaries can seem scary and intimidating, but once you start to address your concerns on paper, you will immediately feel a sense of relief. Writing out your boundaries will help you assess expectations, and will give you the confidence to self-advocate for your mental and emotional health. Writing out boundaries is a great method to prepare for vocally expressing your boundaries when the time comes. Practice saying your boundaries aloud to build courage and confidence to fully express your concerns and feelings.
• Plan in advance: If you’re spending the holidays in a toxic environment, or if you are aware that a negative conversation may arise, then having a safe plan in advance will give you the strength and confidence to have control over an escape plan. Decide whether an escape plan is needed as a back-up to provide reassurance. Will you be driving, or will you arrange for a ride if needed? If you plan on staying, are there phrases you can incorporate to change the direction of a triggering conversation? Is there a trusted family member or partner that you can lean on to help with communicating your boundaries? Don’t be afraid to appoint someone you trust to help you with carrying out the boundary you have set for yourself.
• Push guilt aside: This is for the people pleasers out there (aka ME) who allow guilt to consume their thoughts, ultimately disrupting their decision-making. We need to remember to put ourselves first, no matter how difficult this concept may seem. This is a friendly reminder that putting yourself first is NOT selfish! Sometimes we get so lost helping others that we forget to help ourselves. Setting healthy boundaries will help to put ourselves first, but we need to push guilt aside in order for the boundaries to become effective.

Practice setting healthy boundaries this holiday season, and notice if you feel a difference with your mental and emotional wellbeing. If you need additional tips, I talk about boundaries (what they are and how to apply them) in a previous blog post and podcast episode – be sure to check them out for additional resources and support! I hope you all have a wonderful holiday season, and be sure to give yourself the best present: setting healthy boundaries and being in control of your overall wellbeing! 🙂