If you’re sitting and waiting for an apology that is long overdue, this blog post is for you. But I’m going to rip the bandaid off quickly and say something that might stir up some emotions…consider yourself lucky if you received an apology from someone who caused you harm, because it’s not guaranteed. Chances are, you might not receive that long awaited apology that you desperately need to close the door behind you and move on…and that’s where the need for closure comes in.

So let’s talk about closure–why we crave it as human beings, and why it’s become an expectation that consumes our body and mind. It’s human nature to experience a heightened sense of emotions during a hardship, and we expect closure to fix or validate these experiences. Overtime, we develop an expectation that if someone harms us or wrongs us, we can’t move forward until we receive an official apology. We crave the apology so that we feel valid, seen and heard. We want the person to take accountability for their words, actions, behaviors and the harm they caused us. But in reality, we may not get the apology we’re hoping for.

As the anticipation builds, the thought of not receiving closure causes stress, overwhelm and anxiety; harming us, not the person who caused us harm. The cycle of intrusive thoughts and rumination of frustration, animosity, resentment and other negative emotions will become detrimental to our overall well-being if we keep these thoughts replaying on a loop. Instead, there is a transformative revelation I learned about closure that will lead toward a positive shift…and we all have the capability to do it.

Closure does not come from someone else. Closure comes from within you, not the person who harmed you. Read that again. I can understand that this revelation may seem off-putting at first, but hear me out–the person who you’re expecting an apology from, trying to set boundaries with, or overcome a traumatic experience from may not give you the apology you deserve. This concept isn’t giving that person a free pass or serve as an excuse for their behavior, it’s simply removing the power and control that person has over you.

Removing the power and control from that person starts with accepting that closure comes from within you. This allows you to shift the power and control into your hands, and release negative emotions so that you can navigate through the closure process with control, clarity and empowerment.

While closure is within you, you’re not alone in this process. Tap into resources and support for help. There are a multitude of emotional release techniques to help guide you in releasing toxicity and overcoming trauma. If you need guidance or support, please submit an inquiry in the ‘Contact’ form on the homepage of my website.

Remember, you are in control of your feelings and emotions. Focus on what you can control in this moment and time. You are worthy, you matter, you are enough and you are loved.